Walking Off the Big Apple's Lenten Gelato Diet

While walking on Bleecker Street yesterday and looking at all the food in the windows of the street's foodie blocks, and stopping for awhile to watch the firemen put out a fire above Indian Taj (all of which I'll show you soon), I held in my hand the item you see before you until it disappeared. Gelato, I thought, would be my answer to the Grapefruit, though I greatly enjoy the grapefruit in its ruby red variety, in much the same way as that of my fellow countryman, President Lyndon Baines Johnson.

Waking up on this Wednesday and noting it was to time to count all the sins of omission and sins of commission for the next forty days, as I was well trained by the priests of the Episcopal Church, I have set upon a diet plan based on gelato. As the Ice Cream Diet seems to be resurrected every decade, I think it's time to move on to the softer, more artisanal version of frozen wonderland. I am sort of over frozen yogurt. Gelato incorporates less air in its making than ice cream and should be lighter in fat.

For the Gelato Diet I will incorporate a twice-weekly indulgence with the 10,000 steps-a-day program, for, indeed, that's the 4.5 to 5 mile walking range that should allow me to walk off most of it. I also plan to cut back on portion size at every meal.

Twice a week for the next forty days, I will also order the gelato on a cone, as the cone provides practical and aesthetic pleasures while walking. Walking down the street with a cone of gelato frees the other hand to wave at friends and admirers.

Image: Stratchiatella and dark chocolate nutella gelato. L'Arte del Gelato, 75 Seventh Avenue, NY, NY.

Walking Off Winter Weight with Walking Off the Big Apple

I'm bored by the weight loss and fitness stories we're forced to read at this time of year. Exercise more, eat less, park your car at the far end of the parking lot, take the stairs, drink more water, la la la la la. Look at pictures of people in the gym in sweatshirts. Boring. So boring, I think I'll go see what's in the refrigerator and go back to sleep.

These preachy features often joylessly separate mind from body and tend to favor the goal over the process. They suck all the fun out of life. Walk for 30 minutes, yes, but where am I going and what will I see along the way? Where do I want to go, and what's the scenic route? Do I feel like walking in a park today or strolling along an avenue? What do I want to "walk off' (emotional and mental, in addition to baked goods with icing)?

Here's the deal. I want to lose 1.5 pounds per week between now and the vernal equinox on March 20, but I have to make the weight loss a happy incidental by-product of a journey instead of a boring chore. Otherwise I will fail.

Here's what I plan to do. It works for me: Find some fun place to walk that would require walking for 30 minutes, get a grip on what and how much food and drink is consumed, and maintain a journal. Weigh every day, and don't lie. Don't step up on the scale three times in one minute and hope it will go down. Write down the weight in the journal along with other thoughts and ideas, perhaps commentary on Mike Huckabee's weight fluctuations and why former Arkansas governors, irrespective of political party, have weight issues. Make the journal attractive. Journals, by definition, require commentary DU JOUR.

Watch out for those New York foods! Time to pull out THE CHART (walking off what you ate)! Read it and weep!

Slice pepperoni pizza (200 cal) = 1.9 miles
Cafe latte grande (260 cal) = 2.5 miles
Bagel (320 cal) = 3 miles
Chocolate croissant (340 cal) = 3.25 miles
Pad thai (380 cal) = 3.5 miles
Black and white cookie (430 cal) = 4 miles
NY cheesecake (480 cal) = 4.5 miles
Pastrami sandwich (1010 cal) = 9.5 miles

Scary! It's OK! Another thing I like to walk off is FEAR.

My favorite 2-mile walks in New York City.

Image: Springtime in New York eye candy.

Walking in Inclement Weather

New York is currently under a wind advisory, and I can attest that conditions are not ideal for a stroll in the park. I've been out walking anyway, just because I needed to get out, and I took the dogs with me, because they had their own reasons for getting out. The effort seemed thrilling for the first ten minutes, but then the walk turned frightful. The wind was gusting to 50 mph, and I thought my terrier was going to rise in the air like a Thanksgiving Day parade balloon. We turned around and walked home.

I like to walk every day, but when bad weather arrives, I find little pleasure in the alternative of walking on a treadmill in a gym. I'm a flâneur, not an athlete, and so I need the intellectual stimulation of the street more than I need to watch myself in the gym mirror walking nowhere and squirting water in my mouth from a sports drink bottle.

I don't like to let inclement weather stop me from walking, so I will bundle up in a parka that makes me look like the Michelin Man and then head out into the elements. Walking in inclement weather allows me to pursue my flâneur agenda, but I can actually burn more calories under rough conditions. After a walk in the snow or wind, I may feel exhausted, but at least I will have seen the windows on Fifth Avenue or the comforting fireplace at a cozy West Village café.

I'm not stupid, though. I always bring extra money for a cab.

Image: WOTBA upended at the intersection of Fifth Avenue and Washington Square North while walking in the brisk breeze blowing in from the west.

The Post-Holiday Diet Starts Early and A Blank Chart O' Progress for December

Flipping over the pages of all my dog calendars to December (the golden retriever wearing Santa's hat, don't you know), and noting that it's still in the early stages of holiday merriment, I have decided this very morn' that I need to lose six pounds this month, come hell or high water, before the new year.

A little alarmed about the lingering effects of Thanksgiving, and, frankly, anxious about my walking future through sleet and snow and, thusly, the ability to make metaphorical the lessons of Gotham's streets, I have taken up the task once again of puritanical chart-making.

Walking for exercise and weight loss, the raison d'être of Walking Off the Big Apple in her infancy as a website, low, just these four-and-a-half months ago, eventually gave way, as loyal readers know, to discussions cultural, economical, and philosophical. Art reviews and descriptions of New York's neighborhoods, new and old, pushed out posts on walking off slabs of beef. Diatribes about Wall Street and the Bowery took precedent over late-night confessions in chat rooms devoted to the overweight. Flâneurie replaced Câlorie.

I blame it on Greta Garbo.

When the New Year arrives in a month, and with it the endless and tedious feature stories we're all forced to read on post-holiday weight loss, I want to be able to skip all that and move on to worthy commentaries with a lot of meat.

So, here I go. I'm happy to share my chart-making je-ne-sais-quoi with anyone who wants to play along. You want to be WOTBA's diet friend, oui ou non?

Image: the first 14 days of WOTBA's December game plan.

How Not to Blow Your Diet During the Holidays, Illustrated

At this time of year I read many articles about unnecessary holiday eating and drinking, the kind that adds pounds that never come off. I can easily visualize the quantitative portions of various holiday desserts and appetizers that I should not consume, but alcohol is sometimes hard to ration.

Here, as illustrated in the photo, I've set out three different size wine glasses and poured one serving, or 5 ounces, into each of the glasses. The amount of wine appears different from glass to glass, n'est-ce pas? I love the short stemless glass in front, but the 5 ounces appear small in there. In the tallest wine glass at back, one serving doesn't even fill half the glass. The wine glass on the right seems perfect for one serving. By the way, I bought this particular wine glass at a restaurant supply store in the Bowery that's going out of business.

One serving of wine equals 100-120 calories, so walking off one glass will require walking one mile.

What did I learn from this experiment? I learned that if I want to enjoy just one glass of wine for a holiday get-together, I need to choose the glass that looks like it will hold just one serving of wine.

Walking Off Thanksgiving Dinner: Prepare For a Day Hike

If you enjoyed a large traditional Thanksgiving Day dinner yesterday, a feast of 2800 calories, give or take a 1,000, you may want to walk it off today. So, here's how to keep those extra pounds off. Lace up some sturdy hiking boots, walk out the front door, commence walking, and then return home 7 hours later.

Sorry about this. Depending on individual weight, walking speed, and terrain, walking burns an average of 100 calories per mile. That's not much. So, consuming even a few more hundred calories a day would necessitate a few more hours of daily walking in order to keep extra pounds from piling on.

I need to visualize what my walk would look like if I want to seriously contain holiday overeating, so I've plotted a 15-mile course through Manhattan. Just to walk off HALF of the calories I probably consumed yesterday, I would need to start in Washington Square Park at the arch, walk up Fifth Avenue all the way to 110 St. turn left, walk back down the west side of the park, take Broadway all the way down to Battery Park, turn north on Church, and then make my way through Tribeca and SoHo back to Greenwich Village.

This fantasy day hike, of course, seems overwhelming right now. But I can make amends for at least part of the Thanksgiving feast by choosing to walk 2 or 3 miles at a moderate pace of 15 minutes per mile. Some fast window shopping along Fifth Avenue or Broadway may be just the ticket.

Walking Off New York Food Distance Chart

Starting in Battery Park (BP) and continuing north on Broadway, please find the distance up Broadway needed to walk off common New York foods for a 140 pound person walking at a moderate pace (approx.):

slice pepperoni pizza (200 cal) = BP to W. 3rd St. (1.9 miles)
cafe latte grande (260 cal) = BP to Union Square Park (2.5 miles)
bagel (320 cal) = BP to W. 25th St. (3 miles)
chocolate croissant (340 cal) = BP to W. 29th St. (3.25 miles)
pad thai (380 cal) = BP to W. 35th St. (3.5 miles)
black and white cookie (430 cal) = BP to W. 45th St. (4 miles)
NY cheesecake (480 cal) = BP to W. 54th St. (4.5 miles)
pastrami sandwich (1010 cal) = BP to W. 150th St. (9.5 miles)

Remember that next time you are at Katz's. I will.

Walking Off Hill Country, the Restaurant

Calories Consumed and Enjoyed at Hill Country, the newish BBQ emporium, on Saturday night:

3 oz. sliced brisket = 327
1 big beef rib = 275
1 side order green bean casserole = 80
1 large slice white bread = 80
1 bottle lite beer = 99

Total = 861 calories

Let's calculate how far I need to walk in order to walk off all of this. See the map of the Walk of the Confused Flâneuse, and come back. Never mind about the story right now. She walked far, yes? 3.8 miles! That is how far I need to walk today to burn off HALF the calories consumed and enjoyed at Hill Country.

As I have pointed out time and time again, walking off dinner sometimes requires much more than a happy little lalalalala stroll. I'm sorry to be such the bearer of bad news, but I'm the one who ate all this.

My new motto: Walk Free or Die

Quick restaurant review: We all loved the meat but weren't crazy for the sides.

Hill Country. 30 W. 26th St. New York, Texas

Count Calories

As I am not a fan of fad diets, I have found success with the plain vanilla formula of counting calories. When I started this plan of mine ten weeks ago I found it helpful to go to the website www.calorie-count.com (listed in the sidebar on this page), set up an account, and track my daily calorie consumption, boring as that sounds. After a couple of weeks I could see the kinds of foods I was consuming and their relationship to my daily weigh-ins.

MY WEIGHT LOSS PROCLAMATION

MY WEIGHT LOSS PROCLAMATION

Fellow Citizens!

Whereas I have liberated myself of 18.5 pounds over the last 10 weeks as of this very day, and whereas I continue to lose weight at a steady pace, I heretofore announceth my overall diet and exercise tippes for the continued pursuit of happiness.

I can't lose weight for ye, if that is something ye wish, so I shall speaketh for myself.

• WALK. I have taken a brisk walk most every day for at least 30 minutes without interruption.
• HEALTHY DIET. Instead of a fad diet, I decided to make diet changes for the long run.
• STRENGTH. Needing to firm up and build muscle, as I am not 18. 5 years of age, I engage in some form of strength exercises several times a week.
• COUNT CALORIES. I try to consume around 1500 calories a day, no more and no less, and when I blow it, I take an extra walk.
• VACUUM. Vigorous vacuuming provides an additional effective calorie burn.
• JOURNAL. I maintain an elaborate, pumped up illustrated diet and exercise journal. You are reading it.

I do hereby authorize, enjoin and require all readers to payeth attention to these pronouncements and to all subsequent decrees.

The way home

What makes these urban hikes desirable is knowing that I don't have to walk home. I have public transportation. So at the end of the trip, I pull out the subway map to find the way home.
Another thing I need is a restroom, and I usually find one in a bookstore or coffee shop. Bryant Park in midtown has the best public restrooms I've ever seen.
My self-imposed regime of calorie counting and walking is pleasant in an older city like New York City. I believe, however, that this process is transferable to most places.
Pull up the map at http://www.gmap-pedometer.com/ and check out 2.5 mile walks from your home and see where that puts you.